The Stress Nanny with Lindsay Miller
Mindfulness and stress management for families raising kids with big goals, big feelings, and everything in between.
Hosted by mindfulness coach Lindsay Miller, The Stress Nanny is full of practical strategies for calming anxious kids, supporting high-achievers, and teaching emotional regulation in everyday moments. Each episode offers easy-to-use mindfulness practices, stress management tips, and confidence-building tools that empower kids (and parents!) to navigate challenges with ease. Whether you’re raising a child who struggles with big feelings, a high-performing student-athlete, or simply want a calmer home, The Stress Nanny will give you the resources and encouragement you need.
The Stress Nanny with Lindsay Miller
Ep 202: Turning Big Feelings Into Superpowers With Miles And The Colorful Capes Of Feelings
What if a color could say everything your child can’t yet put into words? We sit down with women’s health practitioner turned author Constance Lewis to explore how her family’s journey through epilepsy inspired a simple, memorable system that helps kids name big feelings and feel brave enough to face them. From NICU shifts and IVF to early-morning seizures and brain surgery, Constance maps the moments that shaped Miles and the Colorful Capes of Feelings—and the practical tools any parent or teacher can borrow tonight.
We get specific about what works under stress: asking for a color instead of a label, using capes or favorite dress-up items to signal state, and returning to the moment later with curiosity rather than critique. You’ll hear how calm modeling, low voices, and eye-level posture change the tone, why decatastrophizing protects the whole family’s nervous system, and how short, repeatable rituals—like meditation music during the dinner rush—turn regulation into a daily habit. We also talk about empathy as a skill kids learn by watching us: holding doors, checking on a friend, and noticing when a sibling needs space.
Schools matter here too. Constance shares ideas for discreet classroom signals so teachers can spot dysregulation before it derails learning. We discuss why social-emotional skills aren’t extra—they’re the foundation for attention, memory, and behavior—and how a quick “What color are you today?” can prevent bigger disruptions. Plus, a peek at what’s next: Mariah and the Colorful Tutus of Feelings, a toddler tools board book, and upcoming titles that normalize the emotional lives of moms and dads.
Ready to try it? Ask your child for their color, borrow the script, and watch how quickly the room softens. If this conversation gave you a useful tool, follow the links to the book and free resources, share with a friend who needs more calm, and leave a review to help others find the show.
Lindsay Miller is a distinguished kids mindfulness coach, mindfulness educator and host of The Stress Nanny Podcast. She is known for her suitcase tricks and playful laugh. When she's not cheering on her daughter or rollerblading on local trails with her husband, you can find her using her 20+ years of child development study and mindfulness certification to dream up new ways to get kids excited about deep breathing. Having been featured on numerous podcasts, platforms and publications, Lindsay’s words of wisdom are high impact and leave a lasting impression wherever she goes.
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Welcome to the Stress Nanny, the podcast where we take the overwhelm out of parenting and help kids and parents build calm, confidence, and connection. I'm your host, Lindsay Miller, Kids Mindfulness Coach and Cheerleader for Busy Families Everywhere. Each week we'll explore simple tools, uplifting stories, and practical strategies to help your child learn emotional regulation, resilience, and self-confidence, while giving you a little more peace of mind too. I'm so glad you're here. My guest today is Constance Lewis. She's a women's health practitioner and began her career in neonatal intensive care before transitioning into roles as a discharge nurse, breastfeeding counselor, and childbirth educator. Inspired by her personal experiences with infertility and pregnancy, Constance pursued a WHNP degree, which allowed her to provide compassionate care to women for eight years in a private OBGYN office. After their son Miles was diagnosed with epilepsy, Constance decided to step back from her career to focus on her family. Together, Andre and Constance have faced the challenges of infertility and parenthood head on, welcoming their three children, Miles, Mariah, and Micah, through Donor Egg IVF. Their personal experiences navigating their son's health issues led to the creation of Miles and his Capes of Feelings, a heartwarming and practical tool to help children express their emotions. Their home, filled with love, laughter, and a red labradoodle named Ginger, reflects their deep commitment to family and helping others. Constance, thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you for having me. I'm very excited to be here. Yes. I'm looking forward to our conversation. When you reached out to me, your story was so resonant to me on both a personal and professional level. A lot of our audience knows that I did IVF for our daughter also. And so I really can appreciate the depth of feeling that you bring to your work professionally and then as an author and as a mom. So thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story because it's not always easy. But I am grateful for the wisdom that has emerged from your story in this book, and I'm sure in your work with others.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. Yes, I know it's interesting because it's something that most people don't want to talk about. And I've always kind of been open about it, and I feel it's very healing. And any experience that I've had, the more that I write it down and the more I talk about it, the more healing I get from it. It's how I feel, anyways.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, I couldn't agree more. I think there's so much depth that comes from those types of experiences, and it can be scary to kind of access it at first. But then once we get practice going to depth with those like big experiences and big feelings, we recognize what a treasure trove of resilience it can be. And then as we share, like you said, the gift of the experience manifests itself in the ways it can help others.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly. I was just gonna say when people hear my story and they say, Oh, I don't feel so alone. Thank you. It makes me feel, as you said, just kind of heals my own journey and my process as well. I've always been a helper, anyways, being a nurse. It's just I'm a healer. I'm where it's just my purpose and finding purpose in every journey that I've had through parenthood and infertility and miles diseizure disorder is just really been so special. And now that's what I do for a job at home with the three kids.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, it's so powerful. I love it. And I'm noticing behind you, you have a peacock feather and you have a peacock print, and I have one right over here in my office. Do you want to talk a little bit about what that means to you?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. So I love peacocks, obviously, the color. But what it represents to me is my husband initially came up with the idea of calling me peacock because he said that when my feathers are down and I'm just humble and in my nature, it's just a regular looking bird. But he sees when I spread my wings, these most beautiful colors of wings, and I'm expressing myself and being purposeful and helping others. He sees me as this big, beautiful, colorful bird. And so it really just represents that. And it helps remind me that I am brave enough to do anything, that I have these beautiful colors to share with others. And, you know, the blues and the teals are just another my favorite color anyway. So it's really what it represents is just a strength as a mom, as a woman, to keep showing those colors, keep showing up, even when it feels tough.
SPEAKER_02:Oh, that's such a beautiful way to conceptualize it. I did a podcast episode at the very beginning of my podcasting journey, and I had a guest on, and she was talking a little bit about peacocks, and she was talking about how they can neutralize poison. Do you know that? I didn't know that. So peacocks can digest poison and neutralize it. That's exactly what I do.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. Yeah. In an energy sense, I think, in a feeling sense. Yeah, a hundred percent.
SPEAKER_02:No, so I love the added layer that you just gave with the feathers and just the conceptualization of someone who can have a really down-to-earth persona, but then also really shine and be an incredible display of love and you know, care when the moment calls for it. Yes, exactly. I love that. I love that little fact you told me. So thanks for sharing. Yeah. No, when she told me my jaw drop, because we've had this peacock print in our house for ages, and I've always held drawn to peacocks. And when she told me that, I just had a new appreciation for them. Absolutely. I can't wait to share it with everybody. I thought too. Did you know? No. Well, let's get into the book. You sent me a copy, which I was so grateful for. And when you first reached out, immediately when we started talking about capes and emotions, I was here for it. I thought, okay, I definitely want to talk to her about this book because I am constantly encouraging kids to be emotional superheroes. And so the idea of a cape displaying and helping to communicate emotion resonated with me in so many ways. But I want you to introduce the book through your son Miles and kind of how it came about.
SPEAKER_01:Thanks for asking. My son is now almost eight. Oh my gosh, it's crazy saying that. He was a healthy, seemingly healthy boy, you know, very emotionally intelligent, just very intellectual, and just such a kind-hearted little boy, still is. But around the age of four, he developed a seizure condition that just came out of nowhere. And it was very life-turning and shocking. And my husband and I lived in a Seder fighter flight for two years because we just didn't know when the next seizure was going to come and we didn't know why and what was happening and all the doctor's visits and all those things. And it was a tough journey for the whole family, not just him and ourselves, but our child Mariah. She's the younger sister, and then Micah as well. He's two. He was a baby, but he doesn't really remember it. But he was still part of the family and ginger as well. That's why we got ginger, is to help with Miles and to train her to be possibly a seizure dog to smell out seizures and to identify that and let us know. And because his would typically happen in the early mornings or at night, and it was scary and being, you know, we wouldn't know when he would be having a seizure in the nighttime. So the story evolved from an understanding that sometimes when he was having big emotions or being scared of going to the doctor or a procedure, or if he had just had a seizure and I had to give him medications, or after his brain surgery, you know, if he was feeling a certain way, the words weren't coming as easy. And even after his brain surgery, he had word memory recall issues, which we had a feeling that might be an issue. And so, you know, he would look up in the sky after surgery and he'd say, Oh, I see a white fluffy thing, but he couldn't name a cloud. So, and it was that was short-lived with a lots, lots of training and speech therapy. But that came about, and I thought, you know, kids have to go through really scary things sometimes. And how do we make them feel more empowered, feel better, have a way to communicate with us without words? And he loved to dress up as a superhero. He was all we had every super care hero costume you can imagine. We still have them, and now my two-year-old wears them. And so I thought in my head, when kids put on capes, I feel like they feel better. They feel empowered, they feel strong, they feel resilient, you know, they can change into anybody they want. And if we use that idea with a color and a feeling and combine them and we let Miles pick the color that he wanted for each emotion, then that's going to be really helpful for everybody. And so the concept of actually writing a book came to me in a dream, actually, which is wild to say. But it came to me in a dream, and I was supposed to write a book about Miles, and I woke up and I had no idea. That was a weird dream. What should I write about? And then one night it just came to me and I wrote the whole book in one night, which is wild. And then I had my husband really just rhyme it for me because he's really good at that kind of stuff. And hence the book Miles and the Colorful Capes, as you could see behind me, uh feelings was burned, as a woman's health nurse practitioner would say. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I I love this story on so many levels, and especially the idea of empowerment. I think, like you touched on the idea of putting on a cape and having the emotional awareness be empowerment. There's something so deeply real about that, right? Because so often, like you're describing with him and with other kids, they feel this sense of victimization around emotion, or they just don't have the words, right? And like you said, sometimes there's a physical reason for that, something getting in the way of the communication, blocking it.
unknown:Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:And other times it's because they haven't learned them yet. And other times it's because I think we don't necessarily prioritize giving them the words. And so you creating a scenario where it's easy for families to build that bridge and to make emotional awareness empowerment at the same time. I just I can't say enough how much I love it.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. It is interesting that I've always been able to express and talk about my feelings. I just kind of was raised that way. My mom and my father weren't raised that way. You know, you shouldn't cry, you shouldn't say how you're feeling, you should just sit there quietly and be a kid. And there's a lot of families out there that are still like that or that just don't know how to have that conversation with their child, or they just feel super uncomfortable. And I'm lucky that I don't feel that way. I'm always asking my kid, how are you feeling? Tell me about it, color me something. They're like, mom, okay, okay. Like we've asked us about our feelings and I'm like, okay, you sure you don't want to talk? You know, it's so funny that they're like, they're over it sometimes. But you know, but there are families that don't talk about it or they don't know how to approach it. And so I think using a story opens that conversation without feeling so scary and awkward, just since the book has come out in August. I've had so many parents and teachers and others reach out and say, Oh my gosh, like my kid put on this cape and told me how they felt today, and we never really talk about emotions, or my kid came to class and they were wearing this color and they said this is why they wore this color, and it and it helped me get them through their day so they can actually focus and learn. So just see the outpouring of information and support that's come back from it is more than I even imagined, which is amazing.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. I mean, and you're less than three months in, right? I mean, that's just barely hit the world. So it's safe to say you're gonna get quite a few more comments like that down the road.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly. I love it. I'm like, keep on going.
SPEAKER_01:I love hearing about everybody's experiences. It just is so fulfilling that people are having that conversation because of the book and they're normalizing, expressing feelings because it is something normal. And it's not just the good ones, it's the ones that don't feel always right, you know, or great, like frustration and anger and whatever else there is.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, definitely. Well, and can appreciate too that in the moments when you're faced with a dysregulated child, you know, whatever that big emotion is that's coming at you, it can be really tricky to get creative in those moments. You know, kudos to you for facilitating that in your home, right? But I think one of the powerful things about story is that someone else already did the thinking for you. So in that moment, all you have to do is take the idea and implement, you know, and so if you've read Miles and the Colorful Cape The Colorful Feelings with your kids, and then they're having a rough moment, all you have to say is, what color cape would that be? Right. And and it's they don't have to go into it right then. Later on, maybe you parse it out, but it's such a powerful thing you can use when you're not sure what's going on, they're not sure what's going on, and you're just looking for some way through.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And I have a shirt that Miles wears that says, What color are you today? is the front of it. And so, you know, people always look at a shirt and ask, and the back explains, but it's just giving a color to how a feeling, and you don't even have to know the name of the feeling, like you said. You know, it's just if you say to your child, if they're and and obviously if they're completely dysregulated, they may not be able to answer answer you in the right. But you know, go back to it and say, What color do you think you were? And then they'll give you a color, and even if it doesn't explain exactly their feeling, because we're very analytical sometimes as parents, and we need the word. Sometimes I'm like that too. And I say to myself, okay, you don't need the word. Have them color you a picture, and then from that you can pull things and ask them more questions, or oh, why do you think you were that color? What does that color look like to you in a different way? Or you can even say, What color does that remind you of on something, a toy or you know what I mean? Just kind of relating that color to something so we as a parent can rationalize it more and then just talking about it, you know?
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Well, I'm sure you know this, but how the analytical and the emotive part of the brain are in distinct hemispheres, right? And so when we can cross over and create the connection, there's so much soothing that can happen in the brain just by having some sort of description, right? To the feeling. So, like you're saying, even if it's not an exact understanding with history of what this emotion is, where it came from, and how you can work with it in the future, it is building that bridge between the part of you that's just feeling everything so deep and the part of you that has some sort of descriptive way to connect with that feeling. Correct.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And then the more you build on that, the easier it gets for that child in that moment, I think. And then as parents as well, too, to understand what they're trying to tell us.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, a hundred percent. One of the things we talk about with my mindfulness coaching is there's a part of the brain that's in charge of kind of monitoring all those responses, right? Like your emotional state, your physical state, just how everything's doing. And when we talk about how we widen that neural trail, right? So when we're building those neural trails in our brain, whatever it is, we want them to go from that tiny little single person hiking path into this really great two-way, you know, two-way path that we can send messages back and forth between the brain and the body, between the brain, the parts of the brain that can monitor and soothe versus the parts of the brain that are freaking out and warning us. And so, like you're saying, the everyday practice or those questions, they create those neural networks. And when we build those when kids are small, I mean, it's just fantastic to have that foundation in place for the whole rest of your life. Yes, exactly. I agree. I couldn't agree more. Talk to me about your own parenting journey. I know that there's so much of you guys woven into this book, which is part of what makes it so beautiful. You have different family member references and different friend references, but also just the intentional way that you parent really comes through in the story. So talk to me about how your personal experience shaped the way you convey it, I guess.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, that's a good question and kind of a tough one that I'll have to, you know, maybe explain my way through a little bit. But Andre and I try our best to present ourselves calmly in most instances when our children's have big emotions. And I think that comes along with our background in a way, because Andre's a pediatric dentist and say extremely calm when his patients are freaking out. He's so good at it and he's such a great dentist. So he kind of trickles that into our parenting. And not, I mean, obviously, we're human and we do sometimes get flustered and stressed and ah, you know what I mean? That always is so normal. And then also with me, just I've I've been through a lot of catastrophic experiences through seeing death and children, you know, just lots of things that are overwhelming. And then when Miles went through his situation, the things that seemed so big before seem so little now. I mean, he went through brain surgery and he lived, you know? So I think that we just try to come at our parenting way as whatever happened in this situation, let's try to remain calm and not catastrophize it, which is very hard, especially when you're triggered, right? Your brain jumps right into fight or flight or freeze, right? And so we we try really hard to acknowledge when and if we are heading in that direction. And that's been something I've really worked hard on, just with my past with infertility and always thinking the worst thing is gonna happen, right? And being a nurse, the worst thing is gonna happen. So as a parent, I've really had to calm myself down and decatastrophize every situation. And so I think we kind of come at it from like the more calm, the better, the lower and down on their level that we can get. We never want to feel like we're overpowering or being aggressive. And we just kind of get down on their level. And even if they're having a hard moment, we try to bring grace and love to that moment. Again, not always, but that's how we do it. My daughter had a harder time with this. She will have big outbursts and big emotions, and there's no talking your way through it. You can't talk to her, you can't even touch her. Sometimes there's hitting and fighting. We'd have to move her to her room, and we would sit in there quietly and calm with her, and we're here for you. Let it all out. It's okay to be mad, cry, you know, so on safety boundaries, but all the rest. And so I think that, you know, just trying to come of it that way has really shaped our parenting journey and not realizing that they're not doing it to be manipulative and they're not doing it because they're bad kids. And, you know, I think adding that layer onto it helps as well.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I totally agree. And that's really beautiful the way that you described it, because what I took from it as a reader was this sense of acceptance and neutrality. So I love that that's your MO. Because I think a lot of times when we're triggered or when we're in a situation where other people are watching and there's potential for judgment, you know, sometimes we can be really worried about what someone might say, whether they're a family member, a perfect stranger at the grocery store, at the park, whatever. And how if we can be mindful of that tendency to social reference in those moments and really just be present, like you're saying, with the kid in front of us, and with the big emotion that's coming up, that's emerging, there's so much we can do in the way of teaching when we have that attitude of acceptance and neutrality in those moments.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, exactly. Exactly. You explained it well. And in the book, it's kind of Miles approaches his sisters and his brothers and his friends and his cousin as, okay, this is a feeling that you have and it's okay. And that's that neutrality. Like it's just an it's not going to overwhelm me. It's not going to overwhelm you. It's just, it is what it is. And then here's a tool to feel better. And that's to wear the cape and express it that way. I always say to parents, if you feel so overwhelmed by a big kid's emotion, then I'll do this too. I'll just get curious. And I say this all the time like, just get curious. Why are you feeling this way inside yourself? But also why do you think your kid is feeling this way? It's usually always some sort of dysregulation or overstimulation or hunger. For kids, anyways, it's some sort of dysregulation or a physical fatigue or hunger or you know, overstimulation. If you get curious, it takes you from the defense mode to the like responsive questioning mode, I think. It changes your brain in that way.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, 100%. I always love nerding out on the neuroscience. So bring it, bring it on. It did, but it really is true. We can't be, we can't be anxious about something and curious about it at the same time, right? Like those are alternate nervous system states. And so if we can take that sense of angst or fear or discomfort about the emotion and turn it into curiosity, we do shift our ability to respond. And it really changes the trajectory of the whole situation. And that's where you could see in the book with all the little vignettes. Constance said her son's going up to these different friends that he has, or his siblings or cousins, and he's noticing. So he's mindful that something's not okay with them, and he's trying to figure it out. Another thing I love about the story is his ability to have empathy in those situations. And it sounds like he's received a lot of that empathy so it can flow through him to other people. He shows so much empathy in these situations and he kind of helping people figure out what color cape would you need? Like, what is it right now that would represent how you're feeling? And it's such a cute way of helping kids connect with that power that they do have to offer emotionally intelligent responses to friends, family members. I mean, it's really incredible.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And people say, you know, how did you teach your kids this? They'll say, what age can you start this? And what age do they even start having empathy? And what age does this happen? And I'm like, well, he's two now, but my one-year-old would see if my Miles would cry or Mariah would car and he would go over and give them a hug. You know, so it's just modeling. Like, what do you do as a parent to model empathy, not just in your family, but to people around you that you don't even know? You know, Miles and Mariah and Micah always see Andre and I being so kind, opening the door, picking up something for somebody. If we see somebody upset, we ask them if they're okay, you know. So we're always modeling that just because that's who we are. And my two-year-old, when he sees his sister or his brother upset, he just runs over. It's okay. You know, you'll hear him say, it's okay to be sad. And all of their teachers say this. They can read the room, they know what their friends need in that moment. And so you're right. That's how it came about in the book is that Miles was noticing when somebody needed something and was able to provide that tool. Because sometimes it comes better from another kid than it does from a parent, too.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Or in the way you describe it in the book, the solution is just so beautifully age appropriate, right? So instead of an emotional response from an adult that might be, let's talk about how you're feeling, or labeling it, you know, he's like, here's a cape, this is the one you need, you know? Yeah. Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Such a kid, a kin way to do it, right? Exactly.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, and I think you bring up such a good point because I'll get that question too, in terms of kids and ages and when emotional intelligence is something we can start to teach. And I think we just do it from birth. I mean, there's not a starting point where we say, well, now they're ready to learn about emotions, right? I mean, we all have emotions from the time we're born, even before that. So we may as well just get ourselves acclimated with them from the get-go, right?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I feel the same way. And another thing too is again, I want to reiterate that Andre and I are definitely not the perfect parents and we do lose our cool. But I also think that that is good as well for our kids to see because we don't want them to think that we are perfectly manicured parents with our feelings perfectly in check. And so that also enables us an opportunity to model what we do if we have these feelings ourselves. And, you know, I've done a really good job in the last couple of years of, and I wasn't so good at this in the beginning with Miles, but now as he's older, and the other two of them say, Oh my gosh, I'm so frustrated. Oh, I'm gonna take some deep breaths, or you know, whatever it is. A lot of times they'll know I'm a little overstimulated when dinner time comes. And all three of them are hanging around screaming in the kitchen, and I'm just trying to fix dinner and I'm tired than a day. And I'll just say, Miles, can you put on meditation music for me? And he's like, Yes. And then almost every night we do the meditation music, and then I'll see them sitting down and listening and breathing, and I'll breathe, you know. So just really whatever you do, they're gonna do.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, and I appreciate the recognition that it's a team effort because I think that in families, that's the biggest way that it sticks, right? Is when we're all making our unique contributions to the emotional development and we can appreciate and respond to everyone's contributions, right? And whether it's a learning moment that we're contributing or whether it's a moment of calm that we're contributing, you know, whatever it is. I think the best family cultures are built around joint contribution in all of the things, but especially when it comes to emotional development. And I I couldn't agree more with you. Let's talk a little bit more about how the book applies. So we've talked about extensively how it applies at home, right? We you're reading it with the kids, it can become part of your vernacular. And again, I think the best, best, best tools that we have are from either stories we've made up in our house about stuff, stories we've read from other people that we can just refer to with a couple of words, and they can just weave their way into everyday interaction. Is that how you're seeing people use it at home?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, seeing people use it at home and not just tapes. Obviously, I always encourage if they have something that they love that they could put on a shirt or color a picture. So whatever it is that you feel that they like or that resonates with them. But also I feel it being used through the school system because I feel like, and I've had a lot of conversations with teachers about this because obviously I don't want to put more work on our educators because they're already doing a lot and they're amazing. And so I thought, how do I weave this in? How do we weave this in so that it's helpful? And we do have a lesson plan for it that we have free on the website, which teachers can access, which is beautiful with coloring pages and things like that. But also having a discussion with the teacher about having some sort of sign that this kid is having a big emotion as they walk in the door. So, say something happened at home or they come from a home that's not as supportive. And if a teacher knew how a student was feeling when they walk in the door, because we all know that when a child is not regulated, they're gonna have big emotions, they can have other outbursts, they can have behavioral issues, they don't learn very well. So we're trying to optimize our learning environment and their body learning environment. And it's hard to do that if they're coming from something that happened at home or somebody that did something at school that made them sad or mad or frustrated or whatever it is. And so if we can find a way to have these kids show their teacher how they feel, the teacher can understand, okay, I need to maybe dive into this a little deeper, or now I understand why he's not, you know, having this emotion or why he's having behavioral outbursts or why he can't sit and concentrate today. And so we've had a couple of thoughts about maybe a token that they can put on their desk and the teacher could only see it and flip it up and see the color and the word or something like that. So there's been a couple of different ideas of how do we do this, you know, so that not only is it it's not a public service announcement to all the other kids knowing how this felt, but the teacher is aware and can kind of and again, you can't tailor so much to every individual student and every kid's behavior because you're already a busy teacher, but this goes for if somebody's just really having a hard day.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, those are such fantastic ideas. And I think that the visual of that is such powerful imagery, also. I mean, if as humans we walked around with our capes on, how might we respond to other people, right? What would change if we could see the capes everyone was wearing throughout the day?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think we would have so much more grace and kindness for people because you know, we don't know what happened to them. They could have lost their mother just yesterday, or they could have lost their job or had a miscarriage or whatever. There could be very big, huge emotion life things and they're having a bad day. And if we just knew like whatever their cape color was and how they were feeling, in a sense, that we can say, okay, we can either give them space or give them grace or give them kindness.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah, exactly. So I think it's fantastic that you're looking for more ways to introduce it in school settings in a way that can seamlessly integrate into, like you're saying, what teachers are already doing throughout their busy days. But one of the things that's striking to me, and I've talked to quite a few folks who work in the emotional regulation sphere in schools, and like that social emotional learning piece, it really is core to everything they do throughout the day, right? And there are some spaces, unfortunately, still, where it seems like an additionary, ancillary piece of what's going on at school. But in the way you just described it, it's actually core. It's the foundation of everything that's going to happen to them that day, right? And the ability to regulate, communicate, ask for support around what they're feeling, it's going to influence their entire day of learning. So recognizing, acknowledging, and giving them tools for that, it's actually essential to the work, not ancillary to it.
SPEAKER_01:Exactly. So, like I said, if you can weave it into the curriculum in a way that's not overwhelming, or what's another thing that I have to do as a teacher, you know, I'm not still doesn't hear it's like you're gonna add another document. I'm gonna take care of one more class I have to go to. I'm already overwhelmed, you know, you're exactly right. But but it is true if they have something going on internally, they're not going to learn. And if that continues on for days and days, and you know, that just stunts their growth and their learning and their attention.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Talk to us about some of the other ways you're looking to grow this. I know this is the first book, but it seems like there's so much potential here. So talk to us about what your vision is for what's next. Yes, if I'm not busy enough, that's what everybody says. Not that you have to do more, but it does seem like you're ideating already.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, that's yes, I am. Always ideating. It just keeps coming to me and I just keep writing it down and going.
SPEAKER_01:So my husband says, What project are we doing next? It's funny. But yeah, so one of my business coaches actually said, you know, you can't just have one book. You have three kids. Like this is this is not fair.
SPEAKER_00:So I didn't even think about it. I'm like, oh yeah, I guess. I don't know. So then I said, All right, well, each kid gets a book.
SPEAKER_01:So Mariah's getting to have a book. Actually, it's gonna be published in February this year. It's called Mariah and the Colorful Tutu's of Feelings. She loves to dress up, she's my girly girl, and she loves tutus. And so hers is gonna be tutus instead of capes, and it's gonna be different emotions and different colors, and she's more of the shy side. It takes her a lot to kind of come out and she hides behind my leg. And that used to make me feel so uncomfortable. Like, just get out there and play. And I've learned that's not how to do it and be, you know, how do I build up her confidence so she can go herself? So we've worked a lot on that this last summer. I thought about that book idea for her, so that will be coming. And then Micah, the two-year-old, his book is gonna be a very short, small toddler book. But he loves toys and trucks, and so it's really kind of about when you're angry, you can use a drum to bang on, or when you're sad, you can cuddle your lovey. So it's gonna be different toys and more age appropriate for his age, it's coming.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Oh, that's fantastic.
SPEAKER_01:I love that you can level it. Yes, we're leveling it. And then I had a couple more ideas actually stemming from just being a parent and trying to help kids understand how parents feel sometimes. And so the book is gonna be mommies have big feelings too. Okay. Basically about how if mommies have big feelings, this may be what it looks like, but it doesn't mean we don't love you. We always love you. So it's a book kind of like that, and it's gonna be a daddy one too. Daddies have big feelings too. Um, so that's an idea that I came up with, and I've kind of started writing a little bit of those too. So we'll see how those come out. I'm sure the daddy one will look different, but you know, I'm I think I'm gonna do some interviews and I guess ask lots of mothers if they have a feeling, how do they act, and you know, maybe weave that into the book itself and see.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Well, those ideas sound so fun. I think that, like I said earlier, every time we give kids a story to work with, we make our job so much easier when it comes to teaching in the moments where there's a heightened level of awareness or stress or emotion because we just refer back and then carry the thread of that story into the moment we're in.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, then it's gonna be really cute to see. I envisioned that we'll read the book. Mommy has big feelings too. And then I envision then the kid saying, Mommy, oh, you're having this feeling because you're acting like this, you know? And then yeah, actually helping the moms kind of snap out of that moment and be like, oh, you know, and that's helping the mom because the kid is saying, you know, stating that. Yeah, noticing, noticing that, yes. And then I had a thought about even coming up with a book as why my why moms are always in a hurry, or something about being in a hurry or rushing me. Why is mom always rushing me? You know what I mean? Because my kids, I ask my kids a lot every couple months, I say, what can mommy do to be a better mommy? And they always say, No, rushing me. Okay, note taking.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, no, that's so fun. Well, I think that you make a good point there because so often what I find with my work is that there are so many parents who want to be teaching these skills, right? And they want to already have these skills, but some of us didn't grow up in environments where that was, like you mentioned earlier, something that was taught. And in your instance, it was. But if we haven't had a ton of experience, we don't have the words, and we're still cultivating the awareness alongside our kids. Sometimes for families, it can be so frustrating because as parents, we want to be able to bring the knowledge, right? And to be teaching. And a lot of times with emotional development, we're like right at the same level as what our kids are figuring out. And so I think a book like that is so fantastic because it just recognizes that A, we all have emotions, and then B, like we're all just learning from where we're at. And so we, if we can just support each other where we're at, we're all gonna grow.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that's a good point about it.
SPEAKER_01:I didn't even think about that. And I love that idea because you're right. Sometimes we are at the same level emotionally as our children with our resilience, you know. I've done I've done that too. Sometimes I'll look at my husband and I'll say, Who's the parent in this situation? And he does the same thing to me. Sometimes we we do it fun, not to like harass each other, but just funny thing, and it kind of snaps us out of it. And we're like, oh yeah, you know. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:Well, this has been so fun. I'm excited to hear what's next for you. And you'll have to let me know when the next book's coming out and we can connect again on the podcast. I'm grateful for all the ways you're teaching and educating.
SPEAKER_01:Thank you. It has been fun. Very relaxed and laid back, and I appreciate all your very amazing questions. So thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, well, it's my pleasure to talk to us about where people can find the book and where they can learn more about you.
SPEAKER_01:Our book is on Amazon, so very easily, easily found there. Miles and the Colorful Capes of Feelings. If you do purchase, we always ask for a review because that's as my business coach says, a big thing. I'm just here, like, you know, she's always tells me what to do and what I should do. And I'm like, I could never get through this because I have no idea. And then we have a website, www.colorfulcapesoffeelings.com. And you can find the link to the book on there, but also that's where the teacher resource is for the lesson plan. We have I write blogs all the time about how to help parents. We have a parent resource that you can take of how to teach your kids emotional resilience. So there's lots of great information on the website. And I do have an Instagram page, colorful underscore feelings dot books. So you can find me there too. I'm not the best at that either, but it's there.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. No, that's great. Well, and I think too, if you're listening right now, obviously getting the book for at home is fabulous. One thing that I like to highlight when we talk about books is that you can request that your library get a copy of the book if they don't already have it. Your child's school library can get a copy of the book if they don't already have it. And usually that's a pretty simple process, either just a website or it's, you know, talking to the librarian and making the request. But I think books like this, we need multiple copies in all the libraries. So if you get the book at home and also, you know, have a chance to connect with your local librarian in whatever form that takes, see if you can get the book there too, so that we're all building this culture where kids have the words they need to describe how they're feeling, or they have the cape they need to describe how they're feeling. That's right. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for being here, Constance. Have a great day. You too. Thanks for listening to The Stress Nanny. If you found today's episode helpful, be sure to share it with a friend who could use a little extra calm in their week. And if you have a minute, I'd love for you to leave a review. It helps other parents find the show and join us on this journey. For more tools and support, head over to www.thestressnanny.com. Remember, you don't have to do stress alone. Together we can raise kids who know how to navigate life with confidence and ease. Until next time, take a deep breath and give yourself some grace.